The level of focus in many has left me in awe and desire to
possess such clarity of thought and loyalty of attention. My mind is a barfly,
a busy bee, a social butterfly. I have never really possessed complete control
over my thoughts. From playtime to school time, I have always battled to
control the reins.
Sitting in the classroom throughout school, I saw more than
a room full of student-filled chairs; my mind was constantly jumping from pencil
to desk, chalkboard to floor. "Is there chalk residue on the board? Will
it give the poor girl in the 2nd seat of the third row a sneezing bout today?
Will it harm the bee that landed on it? Will the chalk block its pollen
picker-upper? Who will get the duty of beating the chalk from the erasers after
school? Last time I did it, I spelled out my name. And then I sneezed for 2
hours. Was the floor cleaned? That little 6 inch long sliver missing near the
right end of the chalkboard...is it filled with wax yet? Wax! Did I blow out
the candle at home? I don't want my house to burn down. Ladybug, ladybug fly
away home, your house is on fire…Fire! The little girl in the third row that
sneezes has red hair. Like fire. All the other kids have dark hair except the
boy in the back of the class. He has blonde hair. He sits in a different chair
every day. He says he is half Cherokee and half French. I wonder if he mixes
the two languages in his mind. Mind! Mend. Did my mother mend my mittens? It is
getting chilly outside. Mittens. Kittens. Kittens in mittens… "
That is my curse. My mind never stops or slows until I am in
the presence of “her.” My mind slows and my heart speeds up. My heart takes
over as driver of the mind and I write of “her.” Of Love, of the Goddess, of
God’s poetry perfected.
Modern psychology calls it co-dependency, I prefer to call
it free spirited and focused for perfection. The quacks want to dose me; I tell
them I am high enough of life and nature. Their drugs mentally maim and kill,
nature heals and inspires. I will stick with the madness of freedom over the
genius of control.
© March 16, 2013 ~ DBC, Duke of the Arctic
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